Bubba's Grill

Perhaps not all stories should be told. Entire situations could silently exist indefinitely as long as no one asks certain questions.
During a stint as a front desk receptionist, I received a package for a coworker. I alerted him by email and within minutes he was in front of me, eager to claim the package. "Why so excited?" was my first mistake.
"These are the counter-weights for my grill!"
Confused, I proceeded quickly to mistake number two. "Why do you need counter-weights for a grill?"
I swear to you, his reply was, "Well, to hold up the flagpoles, of course."
My puzzled expression fell to stunned consternation, but he wasted no time explaining further. He obviously had other things to do that afternoon as he hurried out the door. Another coworker was passing through on his way to lunch and had overheard part of the exchange. He helpfully offered, "Bubba won't be back today. The man has a walk-in grill."
I plopped in my chair and answered a few calls as though the world had not just turned upside down, and I wondered how I fell into that rabbit hole. Eventually, though, curiosity got the best of me, and I found myself deliberately seeking out opportunities to ask progressively nuttier questions. I really should not have bothered because the explanation was almost as confusing as the remarks that warranted it.
As best I can tell by the way it was described to me, Bubba's walk-in grill is fashioned similar to a dog-run cabin. There are two smokehouses (one for beef and one for pork, naturally) on either side of a covered patio. The patio has four multi-tiered grills lining both sides of it, for a total of twelve grilling surfaces. Bubba stands in the center of the patio with his spatula, basters, brushes, and tongs holstered in an apron with a toolbelt sewn to it, and there, I hear, he truly shines.
Also, there is a free-standing fire box that contains a five foot rotating shoe rack Bubba has bastardized into a chicken spit. He is able to roast up to twenty birds at a time. Apparently, this is the location of the flagpoles which sport one American flag and one OU flag, Bubba's alma mater. These soaring banners could potentially cause the whole contraption to take flight, hence the need for counterweights.
I found that my final question could only be WHY?
"Because he is in the Knights of Columbus," was the answer, and I gave up. That's what I get for asking.